Sunday, June 26, 2011
After taking over as principal at my first escuela, Bernie Madoff Elementary Finance Academy, I had great ideas that I could change the little ones learning through the power and glory of professional lucha libre. Being the brilliant practitioner I am, I decided that the best way to get to the niños was to get through to the teachers first. So, after being hired, I came to my new school, walked around for 15 minutes, you know, to get the "cultura" of the neighborhood, and then decided how I would change the place: Wrestling Professional Development. I would teach all of the teachers the techniques I had learned as a luchador and they would in turn es teach the little chimichangas at our school. That, I believed, and I believe to this day, will change education for the better. Even Mr. Sprinkles agrees with me. But alas, it was not to be.
After the first day of professional development, in which Sra. Huesos broke three ribs after I applied my famous Virgin Madre Maria Pile Driver on her to demonstrate how we should approach Balanced Literacy, I decided that perhaps my new teachers were not yet ready for my new form of professional development, and I went back to giving them handouts about how to do hall duty. I guess they didn't see things like I did.
In other news, the ISTE 2011 keynote was held today and a bunch of us all piled into a giant airplane hanger (I was there, as you can plainly see in this photo), and finally, I saw another hispanic in the crowd: One Dr. John Medina, un doctor de cerebro that wrote some famous libro about how your brain works. I haven't read it, but I hear it is for sale real echeap on Kindle for like $2.99. Must be a big seller! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, so he was the big-time keynote dude who came on after some people did some kind of music video, and then some others came out and stomped around and made a lot of noise and he talked about the Theory of Mind, where little kids learn that after a while, other people think differently than we do. Kind of like when I learned that not all teachers have my vision for bringing learning through Lucha. He was pretty good, even if he did not mention Lucha as much as he could have. Perhaps he is not as el hispano as I thought.
And by the way, if you are not here, don't sweat it esé. There are lots of people that got your back. Like this lady, who is doing it all from her couch without even getting up. Check it out.
Gotta go, someone told me that the tamales at this one place was out of sight. Adios.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Every year, when summer comes around, when the hot winds are blowing, when the fidello trees are in bloom, and when the local el Sam's Club runs an all-you-can-carry bathroom tissue blowout sale, something miraculous happens in my adopted home town of San Juan de los Banos: The Annual Return of the Free Range Pollos. Every summer, no matter the weather, no matter the economic climate, no matter what drug cartel is running the city that year, all of the citizens line up along Avenida de Pollo Frito to witness the return of thousands of free range chickens that have spent the past few months wandering aimlessly in the Chihuahuan outback, grazing on tumbleweed seeds, making little pollos, and getting fat off the land. They waddle into town, walk up the calle, and after the last one arrives, are quickly captured and turned into sopa, arroz con pollo, pollo fritos, pollo enchiladas, and gorditas pollos.
Damn those chickens are stupid. I mean, every year they do the exact same thing, and every year they end up on the mesas of the town's people. Maybe it is a power greater than man sending the chickens to us. Maybe it is a supernatural entity that drives the chickens to the platos of the people. All I know is, if I were a chicken, and I saw all of my chicken friends headed towards a large crowd with knives behind their back, I might head in an other direction. But I am not a chicken. I am a Luchador Administrator.
I am, El Diablo Cocono!
Speaking of yearly gatherings, perhaps you have been following along this year's ISTE event in los Philly PA, where I am happily to be reporting to you from. Today, I attended the yearly Sheldon Leonard Fan Club meeting, er, I mean education technology blogger gathering called "Edubloggercon 2011" which actually is probably more interesting than the whole rest of the ISTE conference combined. It is sort of an unconference that has evolved into a mini-pre-conference conference for people that couldn't figure out how to use the calendar function on Expedia.com and arrived a day earlier than everyone else. Today, I saw El David Warlick y El Steve Hardigon and a whole host of otra illunimaros of the ed tech world. They presented a whole day on stuff to a whole bunch of other people that mostly already knew what was going on, so it like preaching to the choir, just that the choir still has no other Lucha administrsators in it and can't sing. Just look at this picture! Do you see one other Lucha Administrator other than me? (I am waving at you right underneath Scott Floyd in the upper left part of the picture! Hola El Scott!)
|El Edubloggercon 2011|
Anyway, if you were one of the unfortunates that had to stay at home and actually pay attention to your family this weekend, there is a way to catch up on what happened without having to leave the comfort of your casa. Just check out this site"Edubloggercon." And for more kicks, in the Blog area of the confernece, they are having ongoing presentations. All you have to do is link to this site. And if you are the twit type, just type in the hashtag #EBC11 to follow the conversation.
Adios amigos, I am now on the town looking at the Liberty Bell and searching for Cheesesteak tamales.
Friday, June 24, 2011
I know that many of you are wondering and asking to yourselves “Hey, who is that hombre de mascaras?” “Who is that magnet of machismo?” “Who is El Diablo Cocono?” and of course “What school district would hire him?” Well, for some of you, a lucky few, you will have a chance to meet me, as I will be walking the hallways of ISTE, mingling with you,the common people, and on my quest to be looking for other education technology Luchador administrators. Each day, I will have a different mask, and will be in different sessions. Please do not ask for my autograph or try to shakemi manos. My hands are my life, and I need them to properly take care of my estudents at mi escuela.
Each day, like the stealth god of the squared circle I am, I will be silently observing what goes on at ISTE. I will be using my keen sense of observation and stealthiness to report back to you, my dear readers, who, like so many of my people and students, are left behind. We know why you could not make it. You have no money. You are hit hard by the economic downturn. You are stuck behind your administrator desk because your bosses remember the last trip they sent you on. You wish you had not gone into education to begin with, but you are stuck with your lousy career choice. Fear not. I am here to report what you are missing.
So come back here starting on Sunday as I report from what I observed at EdubloggerCon 2011.
I will let you know about the exhibition hall, the workshops, and of course, where the best cheesesteak tamales in town are located.
Go to el church first ese.
Join me and Mr. Sprinkles starting Sunday.
Monday, June 20, 2011
When I was first starting out in my life as a professional Luchador, I was asked by my then manager, a Sr.Lais Dorito, what my “finishing move” or “Para Moverse de Sin” was going to be. Well, I had just gotten off the train from my village in Northern Chihuahua and had not ever thought about a “finishing move.” Sure, I had played with the idea of the “Frijole de Muerta” where I would squat on my opponent and let him understand that it was not a good idea to eat a gallon of baracho beans right before a match, or perhaps even the infamous “Entrerrosca de Infierno” a move my Tio Tito taught me where I use my considerable thumb and forefinger strength to make my opponent scream for mercy after having his nipples squeezed into submission. None of these however, impressed Sr. Dorito, who told me that I could not do something half-way, that a final move must be so devastating that all of the hombres in the crowd would fear me, and all of the mujeres in the crowd would want to throw their panties into the ring. Thus, after a year of training in the Calor del Gimnasio in Ciudad Suciedad, I discovered the Flying Figure Four Leg Lock. This move required me to wrap my legs around the legs of my opponent while doing a spinning toe hold all the while catching my opponent, who has jumped on me from the top rope. His legs become entwined in mine, and we apply pressure on each other over and over, becoming enmeshed into one, until one of us is spent and exhausted. ( By the way, in many parts of Texas, this is confused for something totally different, and many a luchador has been chased out of town by angry Rick Perry-lovingmobs crying “Marriage is for a Man and a Woman! Get out of here!”)
Anyway, I digress.
Where was I? Oh yeah. The FFFLL or Tres Effes Dos Elles proved to be my signature hold until I discovered the Flying Tortilla Wrap in the late 80’s at a truck stop restroom outside of Bakersfield. But hey, that is a way other story.
So, you ask yourself, “Where the heck is this going?” “What does this have to do with the price of Chicharones in Chihuahua?” “Why am I reading this?” Look esé, the 3F2L is just like technology integration in the classrooms of your teachers. Kids can’t just be partially involved. The little chimichangas can’t just be watching from the sidelines. They can’t just be hoping to have technology in the lesson. The technology needs to be wrapped inside, intertwined, and made part of the lesson, just like the legs of my fellow loser luchadores when I made them submit to the Flying Figure Four Leg Lock. If you go a classroom, and the teacher is the only one touching the technology, then that lesson is as integrated as a lettuce field being picked by the United Farm Workers. It isn’t. If the teacher is the only one using the El Smartboard, then you need to take them aside and ‘splain to them that it is the KIDS that use the technology, not the teacher. She can show all the cool Jeopardy-Rip Off Powerpoints she wants to, but until el estudentos are making the presentations, or the reports, or the movies, they aren’t integrating technology in their lessons.
So go lead. Show them how it’s done. And just because you carry a pretty little iPad around doesn’t mean you are integrating anything either jefé. Unless you are making something with that pretty boy, you ain’t integrating technology.
It don’t mean a thing if they don’t make nothing!
Hasta la vista.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Holy Madre de Jesus! I just had one of those semanas where I wished they would allow us to put all kids into the squared circle, let them go three rounds at each other like the famous 1971 “Brawl at the Wall” where all the wrestlers from Ciudad Baja Gordita fought all the wrestlers from Ciudad Chalupa, with whoever was left making a run for the border into the promised land to the north.
But I digress a bit. Where was I?
Oh yeah, I wanted to put all the changos at my school into the ring and then, who ever was left standing, we give them the finishing move, which in my case, was the world famous Flying Tortilla Wrap. Have you ever had one of those weeks? But the Central Office pollos don’t like to let the little frijoles fight like that, something about lawsuits and some other stuff like that.(Oh how I wish for the old days of education when letting kids whack away at each other was part of the PE curriculum.) So this time of year the flojo teachers aren’t doing anything, the kids aren’t doing anything, and our school motto “Making Some of them Ready for the Next Grade Level Most of the Time” is all shot to hell.
It was a bad week. Not as bad as some, but bad.
What to do when thelittle chiples are out of control and need something to do? And what about the students too?
Why not ask them to start making some really cool stuff? Why wait until AFTER summer to talk about summer? Why not ask them what they WANT to do on their summer vacation? I am talking about Glogster. Glogster allows el estudents and el profesors to create muy cool online posters that they can embed audio, video, text, and digital pictures into. Get em working on creating a glog (yeah that the name, glog, get over it gringo) about what they want to do on vacation? How about starting a glog for your teaches, and add to it as the summer progresses so they can see what is going on in your little cerebro? Ay, the possibilities are endless you overpaid paper pusher. Why not try it yourself? What the hell else are you doing right now? You got time to read this, you got time to glog. And while you’re at it, check out the education glogs.
I’m otta here hombres.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
One time, a long time ago, I was working on my padre’s ranchero, El Rancho Chongo on the outskirts of Ciudad Aduana, when one of the caballos came up to me on his horse and asked me what was the best way to fix a burrito, because he was going to invite one of the local mujeres over for dinner and he wanted to show her his burrito. I told him, ay que culo, there are about 50 ways to fix your burrito (which by the way, Paul Simon stole as a title to one of his songs years later after seeing one of my famous “Cholo Chain Matches” in East LA back in the 1960’s but that is another story ), which flustered him no end.
“I only know of two ways to show her my burrito” he said.
“Hijole güey! Your mamasita didn’t teach you nothing, because there are as many ways to show your burrito as there are day laborers in a Home Depot parking lot in San Diego!”
I then went into a long explanation about burritos. I had to think about all the different burrito showing ways there were: I showed him my burrito which was the biggest by the way, my padre’s burrito, my brother’s burrito..ay ya ya. Each gaucho on the ranch had his own burrito to show. There were so many burritos on that ranch. So little time. By the end of the day, that vato had seen as many ways to make a burrito to show his lady friend as there were B-list estrellas in the Betty Ford Rehab Center in Rancho Mirage.
Anyway, I wish that I had had a way to come up with a whole bunch of burritos without having to actually show him each and every one on the ranchero.
So, esteemed campus administrator, suppose someday you have to think of a lot of ways to do something, and you need a tool to show some of your compas how to do it? Is there a tool you can use? Of course there is that’s why you are reading this el stupido!
Surf your little self over to http://bubbl.us and see one of the coolest little mind mapping tools there is around. You can make a mind map on the spot, save it, send it out, heck, you can even invite your homies to partake in the mind mapping party. Like Paris Hilton in a Las Vegas lounge on a Friday night, you will never have to be alone again when you mind map. Why would you even need to mind map? Hey, you’re the educator esé, but really, when your staff sees the mind map on the big screen at your next staff meeting, the PE coach with the big belly might just put down the sports section long enough to notice what you are talking about.
I’m just sayin’.
Monday, June 6, 2011
When I was about to fight one of my biggest matches against La Migra Enano, the Midget Border Patrol Agent, I was advised by the promoter, a Sr. Ladrón, that in order to make a decent paycheck that night, I had better bring in some people because frankly, at that time,most people in the village had ever heard of me, El Diablo Cocono, mainly because no one had electricityto watch TV where I was a minor star every Saturday night on Lucha Libre’s Got Talent, a combination talent show and wrestling match. They all had TV’s, they just couldn’t watch them. My opponent was a nice enough guy, but really, there were very few of his kind inCiudad Cabrito, so I had to go to my few friends, and ask them to attend the match. Then, I asked the friends to ask their friends to attend the match. Then I asked my friends to ask the friends of my friends to attend the match. After a while, the entire town of Ciudad Cabrito was in the stands of the school gymnasium cheering me on and hoping that I would win.
I did not win that night, because the little chicken mierda La Migra Enano secretly hit me over the head with an eight foot picnic table while the referee was not looking. After regaining consciousness, the promoter gave me my winnings, which consisted of $20,000,000,000 pesos (about 18 dollars US) and a roasted chicken from Chi-Chi’s Casa de Pollo.
What does this have to do education technology you ask? I told you before, don’t ask. If I write it, it has to do with education technology. Look, here is the deal: Just like I had to do in my match against La Migra Enano, you have to go out and get your friends involved in order to build a personal learning network. Just cuz you have some degree, and run a fancy school where the kids aren’t all on free lonches don’t mean anybody is gonna come looking for you. You have to go out and get them. You have to go out and make your network. The more people you add to your network, the better! Like a three-hombre tag team, the more heads the better! And if you don’t belive me, which is racist by the way, maybe you will believe some gringo that will tell you the same thing. His name is Will Richardson, and his brain es muy grande! Here is a blog entry about personal learning networks.
So what are you waiting for salchicha? Read the entry and start making you network.
No I won’t wait for you. I got stuff to do.
El Diablo Cocono is the new jefe in the ed tech town. Get ready to learn how it is done pansy boys. Part championship wrestler ( I won the Coahuila Intercontinental belt in 1978 which I held for over 5 years until that poser El Payaso de los Flores stole it in 1982, as well as the All Northern Mexico heavyweight belt which I won in the classic "Disaster in the Desert" chain match in Nogales in 1979. Perhaps you remember that match? I defeated the perdedor "El Joto de Norteno" after catching his cape in the giant wind fan at ringside. Poor guy. He should have used Velcro to tie his cape, not nylon.
After I hung up my correa during the great Tortilla famine of 1985, took my little perro, Mr. Sprinkles, and my entire village and travelled to our great neighbors to the north, America, where I became a PE coach, specializing in wrestling, and then a campus administrator specializing in wrestling.
I decided that I would use technology, mainly because of the spellchecker, but in doing so, I learned a little along the way. Besides, part of my probation requires community service, and the judge said this counts.
Jesus Maria and Jose, do any of you vatos know how to do education technology at a campus? Aye, you all act like a bunch of South Pacific islanders running away from a tsunami when it comes to using technology. I swear, I can't decide who is more afraid: campus administrators looking at technology or Mr. Sprinkles during a tempestad de truenos.
After years of watching you vatos from the sidelines, I decided I needed to jump into the ring and start showing you how to do it, cuz the old white guys that get paid a lot to do it sure aren't getting it done. That’s right, I am calling you out! You know who you are.
You need me.
You need El Diablo de Cocono!
I will lead you.
Just get out of the way and don't ask no questions.
I don't have time for that basura.